When people ask me how my day is going, my usual answer is “it's another day in my paradise”. That usually raises an eyebrow, given I work with customers a lot and usually in the middle of crises, and always not what others may perceive as a “pleasant day”. It comes from what I consider are my core values that guide my perception, execution, and my interactions — in life and at work.
I use notebooks for taking copious amounts of notes, and almost all of them have this on page 1:
these are my core values. They are (translating my Dr like handwriting)
- Happiness Quotient
- Transparency
- Surrounding myself with people smarter than me
- Recognize and Appreciate people
- Listen
- Happiness Quotient
This isn’t that difficult once you made it explicit to yourself and be honest in sticking to it. This is not having your head buried where the sun doesn’t shine and being positive all the time ignoring reality. To me, this is about another day in my paradise. To me it is how deal with everything on any given day — some of which I control, some I don’t. My goal is to see how I can use them to have an outcome that makes me feel happy, product, and a sense of accomplishment. To me, it is about going to work with a set of people who are happy doing what they do. As a leader, I tend to look at more how we can accomplish our goals, together, rather than look at the barriers that prevent us from doing so. To me, it is about celebrating getting half there rather than being down about only getting to halfway mark. One would argue, and probably rightly so, there is a cost to this. And it’s absolutely true. The question is at what cost and how do you manage it. It fuels me, and in turn, helps me lead others towards looking at each day with a sense of accomplishment and take on the next day with bigger challenges. To me, it is about how I shape my day to be happier, it's not everyone’s day in paradise — but it is mine. And in doing so, I hope to have a positive impact on others and brighten their day too.
2. Transparency
It is important to me that I know how what I am doing is the right contribution to the right goal. In the professional world, I practice this not by sharing everything with everyone, but to make sure everyone in my team and the ones that I work with are very clear on how their work is helping towards a larger goal. And why it matters. Without that sense of understanding, people are often lost, I struggle with this a lot in my personal life. Sometimes being transparent could hurt people I care and love, and fight this battle to find the right thing to do every day.
3. Surrounding myself with people smarter than me
I have never been a grade A student, the sharpest tool in the box, or an academic high achiever. I also learned that I am good at learning through osmosis than anything else in life. This has led me to surround myself with some of the smartest people who are better than me, smarter than me, and have no inhibitions sharing their knowledge — whether it be my high school, college, graduate school, or housemates in the US. When I learned that I am good at leading people, this became one of the tenets of hiring — to hire people way smarter than me and let them loose and what they are good at. This also helped me learn and grow and I am forever grateful for those who shared and continue to share their knowledge with me. I have been in Silicon Valley for 25+ years. During that time I have learned a lot and I know a lot. I also have learned that I don't know a lot more than what I know!
4. Recognize and Appreciate people
Early on in my career, I had a manager who always told me about 5 times a day “Good job TK”. At first, I was happy to hear that and as time went by, it did not sound honest or encourage me in any way. Sounded like lip service. I believe everyone deserves to be told, in a meaningful and emphatic way, that their contribution matters — from the CEO to every single employee, every one of my family members where it is a huge dinner or that timely removal of the trash. It is also important not to overdo it so it does not lose its meaning and value. I try to be deliberate about recognizing and appreciating people. As my superwoman wife (the incredible Manju) always says, “it’s the small things that matter the most”.
5. Listen
This is by far one area where I have grown the most. This is also the one area where I have a lot of room to grow. Depending on who you ask — my kids, my wife or my colleague on how much I have grown in this area the answer will be different — the latter group probably giving me somewhat of a favorable answer! The two areas of impact that one will see immediately (at the least it was for me) was Feedback and emphatic thinking. When you actively listen, feedback becomes very objective and I have been the benefit of that. I realized that I stopped taking them personally but more objectively. Empathy is lacking on our everyday life which results on a lot of consternation. Once I started trying imagine walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, which was enabled by my listening more, the insights were incredible.
The list above has evolved over time, though I do not recall a change in last 10+ years. They have also been my North star when I get stuck. But collectively they have helped me to create “a day” (almost every day) in “my paradise”.
